Open Day Revelation

My neighbour living upstairs sent me a text this morning, informing me an English kindergarten very close to our home is having open day today. She asked if I will be interested to go as she will be bringing her son (same age as Chester) there. This is the kindergarten we will want to enroll Chester there as it is very convenient, thus we went.

When we reached, Chester refused to walk in and I carried him. It was crowded and filled with kids but he was alright in my arms. After he observed the environment for a minute, he struggled to get to the ground and I let him be. He ran and laughed, until a teacher were to say hi to him, he panicked and ran back to my arms. It happened a few times but he didn't scream to ask to leave. He wanted to explore further but with us close by. We walked pass a room filled with children obstacles and Chester's face lit up. He charged in fearlessly and started playing. What strangers? What other kids? Whatever! He ran and laughed and stopped occasionally from hitting other kids. 

Scarlett found a splinter on her foot, she rested and Chester was all by himself in that room for quite awhile. We all left the room hoping he will leave, but he refused and still play without us. Until the school started playing "If You Are Happy" outside the classroom. He recognizes the song and ran out so that he could clap his hands to the beat of the song. Super cute!

What I have learned and observed today about my son. Yes, he has stranger anxiety. He cries when he sees unfamiliar faces. We have invited guests over a couple of times to our home and he will cry without fail. Once he warms up to our guests knowing that they are no aliens and are probably friendly, he started playing with them. I brought him to friends' homes a couple of times and same thing. However, at friends' home, he will still be cautious and tend not to move around too much and want to stay close to me. In a way, I like it much better than him running around and touching things and breaking things of my friends' home. It was so much more manageable. 

The below that I am going to write, you can agree to disagree, but it is a thought based on my own observation after Chester started experiencing stranger anxiety. 

I am starting to appreciate my son's behaviour lately. No, I am not comforting myself. It is just like a revelation to me today, collecting all the experiences and observations so far. Chester is cautious. It is a good sign. He knows how to differentiate caregivers and people he sees daily like our security guards and friends of ours, whom he sees once in awhile. Why? He will run up to his grandparents to ask for a hug when he visits them, he will play peek-a-boo with our security guards and neighbours when I bring him down for strolls from a distance, he will run in playgrounds and playrooms ignoring most of the kids but still have fun and he will scream at my friends if he can't recognize them. There are different levels of interaction there. It is amazing. 

We are often advised to let our babies go out more, hang out more with people so that they will warm up to strangers. I am trying to wonder why? Sociable kids will grow up to be sociable adults and sociable adults will do better in life? Really?! I am not buying that now. A child should be fearful of the world every single minute, the strangers they meet everyday and everything else they get exposed to until they get familiar. It is their basic instinct. The crying is normal and as parents, we just need to be there to assure them they are safe with us.

Ever heard of stories about kids following strangers because they are too trusting? Yeah. I don't like that. I don't want my son to follow anyone to anywhere because he has become so comfortable and sociable with everybody. I used to worry that there is something wrong with Chester lately but I think he is so normal. The society is not normal. It never is because everybody is competing to want their kids to be the first to learn this, to adapt that, to achieve this and to grow up fast. STOP FOR A MINUTE! 

I just want my son to be a child now to cry and be cautious to new faces and new surroundings. And yes, stranger anxiety can definitely stay a little longer with him. I can handle all that crying.

My friend, Eric, texted me last night and asked if I am excited about Chester's playgroup and I told him to pray for Chester and me as I am more stressed than excited. If he really did pray for me, God has answered his prayer. Now, I am excited to bring Chester to his playgroup in September. God is awesome.

Let the crying begin!!! And to celebrate God's victory in eliminating my fear about my son's behaviour, I ordered myself this for tea break. So good.